so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
