Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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