I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
