I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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