for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
