tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
barbara walters just said penis...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
