just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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