I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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