David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
