so that wasnt chicken after all
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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