You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
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