Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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