so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
