if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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