spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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