You made me cry and you don't even care
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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