My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
