I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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