on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We have so much sex to catch up on
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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