why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
