I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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