i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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