Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
