Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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