Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
