I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
