Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize