when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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