I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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