I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Randomize
