Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
