Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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