We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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