Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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