Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
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I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
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This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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