Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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