they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
