It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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