Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
