How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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