operation harelip BJ is a go
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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