i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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