Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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