Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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