you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Text me some of your sweat
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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