why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
