Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
