She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
