i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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