So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
