I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
