Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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