AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
