Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
