If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize