WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm at about main and main street
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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