You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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