Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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