cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
