Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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