I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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