he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
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In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
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I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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